As I write this, the AS Review office is coming down from the exhilarating, natural high of the First Annual AS Review Unflaggable Patriot Of The Year competition. It was a red, white and blue slugfest of the first order— like someone locked Ronald Reagan and Joe Scarborough in a cage together and shook them until they went at it. In the final estimation, though, Matthew “Manhattan Project” Kenny walked away with the title and the glory, thanks in no small part to his last-minute American flag-slash-fishing pole trump card. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.
With my heart all swollen up to national debt proportions, thinking of this week’s contest was a cakewalk. Below this very text box, you’ll find the preamble to the United States constitution— 52 words I assume you all have committed to memory. We’re making this week’s contest as easy as could be— simply copy, word for word, the Preamble you find below onto the conveniently provided blank lines on the back of this week's AS Review. Wow us with your patriotic penmanship and this take home the title and honor of being the first AS Review Handwriting Hero Of The Year.
Drop off your submissions to the Publicity Center (VU 411) by 4 p.m., Thursday, November 9. The winner recieves a handsome shirt from the fine folks at AS Pop Music. Good luck!
"We the People of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty, to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."