I grew up in a world of listening to conservative AM radio with my dad, being scolded for not making my bed properly and attending Sunday school each week. My southern parents instilled strong values in me, including the importance of good manners. I’m not talking about “yes ma’am, no sir” or a culture of chivalry, I’m talking about the basics. For all of those who may have missed the lesson, here are the top eight manners failures to avoid when you’re on a first date.

The napkin…
As simple as it may be, placing the napkin on your lap is awesome. I’m not going to totally dismiss someone for not placing their napkin on their lap, but what really kills the mood is when my date will blow their nose at the table and then proceeds to place the used napkin on the table. Gross.

My smartphone is more important
If we’re sitting at the table eating and your phone buzzes in your pocket, ignore it, please. I love being in-person with someone and being unplugged. What kills me is when my date is always on their phone, texting or doing whatever else, even laughing about what’s on their screen while I’m sitting right in front of them.

Who needs utensils anyway?
I’m fine if you don’t place your utensils on your plate properly, it’s cool if you eat French fries and pizza with your fingers - but if you use your fork to stab your food and then use your fingers to scoop it up, I get really grossed out and embarrassed. Especially if you do it around my parents.

Chewing with your mouth open is sexy
Not. I’m surprised people still do it, but this will definitely kill a first date. I don’t want to see the food you’re chewing. If you must chew with your mouth open, at least cover your mouth with a napkin or something.

Flakeyyy
I get that sometimes things happen. I’m late sometimes. But don’t disappear! Call me and we’ll reschedule.

Profanity and gross pet names
Using profanity occasionally is okay. But when you actually call me your bitch, your shawty or your lil mama, especially on a first date, it is almost a guarantee that a second date isn’t in your future.

Staring and over-the-top comments
Breasts. Boobs. Tits. Yeah, they’re there. Making sexual comments at me while we’re eating dinner and hanging out for the first time is not okay. And just because you pay for the date doesn’t give you a free pass to sleep with me. Bring it up once, I’ll be nice and decline. Bring it up twice, I’ll leave.

Being rude to the wait staff
Being impolite is probably the number one way to ruin a date. If my date is going to be rude to the server, then why would I expect them to treat me well?

I’m not saying your manners have to be perfect. You don’t always have to pay or get your date’s chair. Just be open minded, thoughtful and polite, and charm your date with your character and manners.